You think being The Bachelor would be the best gig on the planet. It’s every man’s wet dream – attractive women all clawing one another for a chance at some bachelor action. This is the one and only time a man can date multiple women and not have to lie about it. Even better than that? ABC producers encourage the women to offer themselves up on a reality TV platter by romanticizing the upcoming fornication episode cleverly dubbed the “Overnight Fantasy Suite” date. Yes, after meeting the families next week on “hometown dates,” the following week, Jake will be given the green light to score three women in just three nights. Good thing he got rid of the token virgin this week.
However, being the Bachelor is not all fun and overnight fantasy suites. Over the last few episodes, during many of the dates, a tired Jake Pavelka was wiping away tears and throwing compliments at his emotionally crippled bachelorettes, who are all coming down with severe cases of jealousy.
On this episode, Ali could barely look at Vienna, while Gia, a swimsuit model, had suddenly become insecure. Even Tenley, who locked lips with Jake atop a San Franciscan monument as a musical score played “On the Wings of Love” while the sun was setting behind them—even then—she was starting to feel the slow burn of uncertainty.
As noted in the first paragraph however, it was Corrie, who was doomed to ride in the limo of shame. Corrie was the only girl left in the house to not have kissed Jake and she finally earned a solo date with him to see if a physical connection could manifest. No pressure. They went to the park and sat in a rowboat while Corrie stared salaciously at Jake’s lips. No dice. No conversation. Nothing. Just a boat filled with a couple of reality TV stars saddled with a mountain of pressure to make a connection. Later, they went to the aquarium and it was there over a candlelit dinner with sea life swimming behind them, Jake finally fessed up (in the nicest way possible) that he thought she was a dud. This led Corrie to reveal that she was a virgin. Check please.
Although she was doomed, before the rose ceremony, Jake teased Corrie a bit by throwing her a nugget of hope. ”It’s not about sex appeal. You know, I mean, this is about heart appeal,” Jake cheesed.
But alas, it was game over for Corrie. Perhaps her chasity will keep her warm at night. So with Corrie gone, Jake will visit the homes of Ali, Gia, Vienna and Tenley. As we head into next week’s hometown dates, which of these desperate girls will scare Jake off with a whacked-out family? As jealousy starts to rear its ugly head and the bachelorettes begin to unravel, stay tuned for Bachelor Drinking Game ideas.
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